Matt Norman is a person I'm pleased to consider a friend. He was kind enough to endorse my book, The Four Fundamental Forces of Leadership.
He and I first met during a particularly down period of my life where I was facing many of the struggles he discusses in his writing. I highly recommend subscribing to his weekly posts on leadership and personal mental health. He's open and honest about what he goes through, in spite of being a successful owner of a Dale Carnegie franchise. A previous blog post delved into managing negative emotions and our mind.
The questions he posed are ones many, if not all of us, face on a regular basis. Some are better at answering them in constructive ways than others. He provides resources to help you. However, I'd like to expand on his writing by looking at this from a leadership perspective.
Leading Others Through Negative Emotion
I'm certain you, as a leader, have come across people in your charge that have expressed the negative emotions Matt discusses in his post. Comments about fear of failure, uncertainty of the future, questions about one's value and worth are common things leaders (at least the good ones that have garnered trust) have heard.
Each of us can be a force in helping light a fire within others and get them to see potential inside them they didn't think they had. We each have the capability to help people manage their negative talk. Leaders can have a strong impact on how employees handle negative mind talk at work. This is because leaders hold a position of high regard to the individual in distress. Leaders' words and actions hold more weight.
With the questions Matt noted in his post, a leader can assist with answering the curiosities he listed. Helping determine what's important, what are a person's strengths and how they've been applied in the past and identifying areas of support are all areas a leader can help identify and embrace.
Helping Others Lean on Prior Work and Success
I was coaching a group of 7th graders in a game when our opponent came through with a defense we hadn't ever seen before. The opponent quickly took at 15-3 lead and my team was rattled; they were questioning whether they could meet this challenge.
I helped the boys acknowledge the stress that was occurring and that I understood they were rattled. I leaned on work we did in practice that focused on quick passing, cutting to open space and handling pressure which they had become proficient in doing. We didn't run traditional offense the rest of the game, simply using our unstructured drill from practice.
We won the game 35-32. The opponent was quite upset. The boys were ecstatic.
After the game, we talked about how the boys were confronted with a new challenge they hadn't faced, much less conquered in the past. However, they took skillsets they were comfortable with and applied them in a new way. I told them there would be times in their lives at school and work they will face the same types of challenges. They can remember this game and how they took skills and experiences they knew how to use and apply it to new areas.
When I coach leaders, I regularly help them Respect a stressful situation by having them vision how they handled something in a different realm that may have had similar circumstances. This technique allows them to break out of their siloed thinking and attack the problem from a different perspective.
Stay Consistent with how you Serve
Leaders that stay consistent in their efforts to work with teammates to manage negative talk in their mind have the opportunity to have great impact on people and organizational results. Development of people is one of the core, fundamental roles of leaders. Embrace the challenge. If you wonder if you have it in you, take note of Matt's insights and even work with a leader you respect to overcome your fears.
Good luck.