I recently read a story about an interaction Buddha had with an angry man I'd like to share.
Buddha was at the edge of a lake meditating when an angry man came up to him and started screaming at him.
"You are a fraud!"
"You have no idea what you are talking about!"
"You tell people all this stuff and it means nothing!"
"You are a fake!"
Buddha stayed calm and listened to the angry man. When the man was done, Buddha asked him a question.
"When you buy a gift for someone, give it to them and they don't accept it and give it back to you, who owns that gift?"
The angry man replies, "Well, I do. I bought the gift and if they don't want it, I own it."
Buddha then says, "I don't accept your gift. It now belongs to you."
This story spoke to me in a few ways:
- Do I have the strength of character and value of myself enough to not accept anger gifts but be humble enough to assess whether there may be merit in the accusations?
- Can I stay true to The Four Fundamental Forces of Leadership to work with such individuals in a constructive manner despite the anger?
- Do I find myself looking to give gifts of anger which could cause pain to others? And, even if they do accept the gift, do I still own the destructive anger within me?
A component of leadership is how we handle such situations. Your actions are impactful to those witnessing the events both immediately and in the long-term. If you accept the gift and fire back, others may see that as normal and take it for what it is. They may see you overreacting and look poorly on the actions.
However, if you don't accept the gift yet find constructive ways to manage the situation towards a positive end, the credibility you gain is massive. You set a standard that others will strive to meet.
Are you accepting anger gifts, or even giving them? What impact does that have on your life and how you lead? I'd love to hear your thoughts.