I came across an interesting quote from Stephen Covey. "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."
We are all subject to this quote. Leaders specifically face this issue. Whether it happens when we are under stress, when we see ourselves as the superior whose job it is to solve problems or a myriad other reasons. We all do it. The implications of leaders being responders instead of understanders are significant.
How can leaders recognize when to be better understanders and not just responders?
1. Practice being in the moment. The concept of mindfulness speaks to attempting to remove distractions and simply recognizing your surroundings and the situation for what it is.
For example, the banner photo could be seen as seeing a gloomy, stormy sky that might cause someone to make a decision to respond by leaving the area for the indoors. It may cause stress and reduce appreciation for the surroundings.
Another course would be to take the time to savor the scenic and find ways to enjoy and even enhance the experience.
2. Serving doesn't always done by answering. The people you work with and those whom might work for you have capabilities and understandings you don't. You have different roles, different insights and different ways of processing a situation. You may have the proper response, but what if you asked the person you are talking with about how they would address the issue(s)? How could you walk with them down a path where the response isn't given, but it comes from them? The Fundamental Force of Success is to help make something or someone as successful as possible. If the process of coming to a solution in this case is developed and honed, how transferable will that skill be?
3. Open yourself up to other angles and sight lines. The more you practice seeing things in different ways (Respecting) than you've become comfortable with, you elevate yourself, your questions, your capabilities and your communications to a new level.
With this photo in Olympic National Park I took several years ago, I was actually facing the other direction, looking to respond to what was there (a fallen truck that looked like a dinosaur head and neck) to make the most of the scene with the creek.
Something told me to turn around and just see what was available from a different angle. The sun shown through a small opening in the forest and gave me this scene for a brief moment. I challenged myself and my belief of what the scenario was and came up with one of my top 5 photos I've ever taken.
If we challenge our thinking on our own, we can become open to what other bring forth, collaborate more effectively and combine the strengths of a group. I'll guarantee you that it's a fun process.
How do you work on Understanding versus Responding?