This is a long post. I will be breaking down various aspects of what I took away from my son's career and what I learned about myself as I went through this process with him in other posts. Header photo courtesy of Carleton College Athletics.
My son, Jeremy, just completed a stellar college basketball and academic career at Carleton College, a small college in Northfield, Minnesota. I coached Jeremy since he was 4 years old, from the YMCA through AAU Spring and Fall basketball during middle and senior high school. Jeremy became 10 times the college player I was (that may be an understatement). Jeremy has received a number of accolades for his work on the court. Those accolades include:
- 2019-20 Freshman year
- D3Hoops West Region Rookie of the Year
- 3rd Team All-MIAC Conference
- 2021-22 Junior year (Carleton didn't play in the 2020-21 season due to COVID)
- National Association of Basketball Coaches (NABC) 2nd Team All-District 9
- D3Hoops 3rd Team All-District 9
- 1st Team All-MIAC Conference
- NABC Academic Honors Court
- 2022-23 Senior year
- D3Hoops 4th Team All-American
- NABC 1st Team All-District 9
- D3Hoops 1st Team All-District 9
- NABC D3 All-Star Game Participant
- 1st Team All-MIAC Conference
- US Basketball Writers Association National Player of the Week for the week ending February 12, 2023
- The Warren Beson Memorial Award winner at Carleton College awarded for athletic and academic excellence
- Carleton College's Men's Most Outstanding Player, Team Sport for 2022-23
- NABC Academic Honors Court
- The only player in Division 3 (1 of 5 in all of college basketball) to score 22 points and 5 rebounds per game while shooting
- 50% from the field
- 40% from 3 point range and
- 80% from the free throw line
- He is also the only one of those 5 who also had at least 2 assists and 0.5 blocks per game
Jeremy was also placed on the final list of 10 men and 10 women Division 3 players for the prestigous Jostens Award presented by the Salem VA Rotary. The award takes into account on-court and academic performance along with community service aspects to choose the best basketball player in the country. I am particularly proud of Jeremy getting onto this list of 10 because it recognizes more than just performance on the court and how one serves other aspects of life.
Team accolades for Jeremy's senior year include:
- Obtaining the most wins in Carleton Men's Basketball history (24)
- The first MIAC conference (by 4 games) and tournament championships since 2011 (this was Carleton's first outright conference championship in 57 years)
- A NCAA tournament appearace for the first time since 2010, and
- The first national ranking in Carleton history
This listing is enough to make a dad, former collegiate basketball player, and youth coach for 20 years impressed and proud. What makes me happier, however, is the way Jeremy conducted himself and engaged in the process throughout his basketball career - from the time I started coaching him at 4 to the present.
It wasn't about reaching these 'scoreboard' awards and accolades
In my book, The Four Fundamental Forces of Leadership, I talk extensively about looking at success differently. Focusing on the scoreboard as a determiner of success will lead you astray.
Some of the above goals were in Jeremy's mind for this last season, especially the team goals. In order to attain those goals, Jeremy drilled down to understand what needed to get done from a team and individual perspective broadly and on a daily basis.
The personal shooting efficiency metrics (50%/40%/80%) were also on his mind because he knew that if he shot that efficiently, it would contribute to the team's success. This mindset follows my process of redefining success. However, Jeremy mostly concerned himself with being the best teammate he could, looking to help make others more successful. He knew that the more successful the other players were, the more successful the team would be.
The head coach of Carleton said about Jeremy, "It's wonderful when your best player is also your most coachable player." When the best player gets called out to be better and then applies that coaching, the others know they have to be coachable as well. The unselfishness he demonstrated throughout his entire basketball journey to simply be a part of a team's success helped make teammates better.
Even with Jeremy's plan in place and being executed well, there was a point in the season where Jeremy understood he had to take on even more stress and responsibility in order for teammates and the team to be successful in their roles.
Taking on stress and opening up to possibilities
There was a game Carleton lost (one of only 4 all season) where the other team put a significant amount of stress onto Carleton. This stress caused them to have an inordinate amount of turnovers and poor shots. Even though the team lost the game, it was a foundational learning experience for Jeremy and the team about what would be required of them each and every day in order for them to reach their goals.
I talked with Jeremy right after and a couple of days after that game. In those conversations, I spoke of him exploring the possibility of taking on even more of a physical and emotional load onto himself. The stress that would be put on the team by opponents through the rest of the regular season, conference playoffs and NCAA tournament would be even more than what they saw that night. I didn't say he needed to shoot or score more or become more selfish. What I said was if he took on more stress - which he could handle - it would allow the other players on the team to experience less stress and enable them to perform their tasks at the same or higher levels.
The challenge of exploring how to take on more of the stress load for the team enabled Jeremy to begin to see some new possibilties. He had been a leader, scorer and decent defender and rebounder for the team to that point. He was comfortable in that lane. According to the numbers, Jeremy was performing at a very high level in that role.
However, I believe he came to agree that in order to reach the objectives the team had placed on themselves, he needed to raise his emotional and physical commitment and presence to an even higher level.
The result of that internal commitment exercise and external practice enabled the team to not lose again until their last game in the NCAA tournament. In one of the most important regular season games - to grab a share of the conference title - Jeremy scored 31 points, including 16 points in the last 9:30 of the game when the team was 11 points down to win. The weight he took on allowed the others to focus on stopping the opponent defensively and make key plays in support of the team. In another game, when Jeremy was rolling with his shot (12 points in 6 and a half minutes), he had a possession when 3 defenders came onto him. He could have taken a reasonably open 15 foot shot and nobody would have said a thing. However, he passed to a wide open teammate for a 3 point attempt. It was the right play. He trusted this teammate to take a good shot. How empowering for that player and the team.
Stress, possibilities and leadership at work
Jeremy may never get to the commitment level he demostrated this season. He left each game exhausted mentally and physically. When the final loss came, he had a sense of relief that he gave it everything he had, but also that the "project" had reached it's end. He scored 35 in his last game, saying he took some bad shots (that went in) because the team needed that from him. In the immediate aftermath of the end of his career, he knew he did well and the results were special.
I will get into this aspect in a different post, but Jeremy - and the entire team in whatever role they played - learned and practiced skills they will be able to take with them into so many aspects of their life, most notably work.
We've all been involved with challenging projects where additional commitment of each member of the team was needed for successful completion. Telling people they need to work harder and longer rarely worked, did it?
Jeremy and the team learned how to analyze the goal, to engage in the work required to get there and to commit to practice that work daily with as much Love, Respect, Service and Fun as they could. That commitment piece is critically important for leaders to understand. We'll get into that later.
My own commitment during this journey
I'll get into more aspects of this as well in future posts, but here are some reflections on how I handled Carleton's championship journey.
When I played college basketball at Hamline University in the late 80s, I was a part of two playoff runs - one was succesful in getting us to the playoffs and one wasn't, which ended my competitive career. I found myself reliving those moments, seeking the energy I felt back then. It was exhilarating and exhausting. I so wanted Jeremy and the team to feel all they could from this opportunity and to reach their goals.
I got a little caught up at times to the point where I wasn't simply enjoying my son play. I cried when Carleton won the conference tournament and were going to the NCAA tournament. I cried again when Carleton lost in the NCAAs as well as when he was named All-American.
When the season was done, I was left with a hole. My "project" was over. There was no more competition left on this road. I had a conversation with a network friend, Tim Voit, about people in business looking to go from one project to another, or one turnaround to another. So many of us chase this competitive feeling whether we realize it or not. It's like a drug. People will even get into bad work situations simply to have this energy flow through them. The toxicity in of itself feeds into the competition.
Reflecting on my personal journey this year - the highs and lows, the conversations with Jeremy, Coach Kershaw, and my Hamline basketball brother John Banovetz who's son is Jeremy's teammate and roommate - and how I reacted to it all has given me some additional insight into how I can coach leaders to gain and drive alignment from employees, understand where limitations and barriers might lie and how stress points can be identified and shored up.
I am left grateful to my son for allowing me to be a witness to this wonderful journey this year and throughout his basketball career. The game of basketball has provided both of my sons with valuable lessons that will take them forward in their personal and professional lives.