In 2003, when I started a new role running a line business, I had a great group of people I worked with. A few months into the role, they gave me a refrigerator magnet as a joke.
Needless to say, I was taken aback by this gift.
When I would describe myself at work, I'd say I was passionate and committed to my work. I cared about doing a good job and I would have issues with those that didn't care enough to put the needed effort into their job.
This gift told me that I was having an impact on the team I didn't expect...or want.
Many years later, in 2011, I learned that I had been deailing with a 5 year case of high-functioning depression. I had become less than capable of processing and handling stress my emotions and the world around me to the point where I wasn't in control. I was a poor husband, father, coach, boss and employee. My mood swings in 2003 weren't a result of this depression, but were a symptom indicating I wasn't on a good path.
Being less than capable in processing stress and situations kept me from seeing the dynamics of situations to my best ability at times. Sometimes, I'd rise to the occasion and come up with novel solutions that moved things forward. However, my ups and downs took a toll on the people I worked with.
As I progressed through my treatment after 2011, I realized that I had not handled my emotions well for years when under stress. That 'passion' I described was, many times, me not having the resilience to process what was going on.
I noticed the impact on how I processed stress on the basketball teams I coached. In 2010, I was a horrible coach that was really impacted by my depression. It caused many players to have a poor experience. Plus, they couldn't persevere through game situations and lost more games than they should have.
As I progressively felt better, I saw I coached differently. I still had passion for the game and helping the boys succeed. However, I was more even in my behavior and much more positive. I had ups and downs, but I could see myself get progressively more aware and more impactful.
As a result of my experience and my respecting of them, I am able to help the leaders I serve in unique ways that enable them to see the impact on how they behave under stressful situations.
So, as you read about part of my story, ask yourself. Would the team you lead give you this gift to say your varying emotions are having an impact on them? Do you see yourself as passionate, but can honestly say you may lose a little control.
If you say yes, or even answer maybe, let's talk. I can share more of my story with you.
